Brinner
by jamie55
Summary: A series of drabbles where, due to Robin's early morning show, Barney and Robin have - or try to have - a late dinner/early breakfast together, otherwise known as Brinner - with references to aired episodes.
1. Deleted

A/N: Strikeouts deleted. EDIT: because ff disproves of strikeouts everything in square brakets [] is the stuff that's suppose to be in striked out.  
original can be found at http:// jamie55. livejournal. com / 24203. html (please remove spacing)

prompt: Email (from a LJ community: him_tbbt_100)

* * *

[Dear Robin,]  
[Hey Robin Sparkles]  
Hey Scherb[a]otsky,

[So I know I got you a job]  
[New job must suck getting up so early]  
Since you've got to get up early anyways, maybe we could grab [brunch] late supper. [I'll even pay.] My treat. [Not that I expect anything.] We haven't talked in a while. [I miss you.] New work story; you laugh so hard you won't be able to eat your double stack pancakes with milk that gives you a milkstache but you don't realize it. [I miss your laugh.]

Just thought maybe you'ld want to hang out [with me.]


	2. Chew and Swallow

Chew and Swallow

* * *

"Bhlis his weally boog", Robin tried to say in between bites. Barney smiled, looking up from his eggs, sunny side up, with bacon, fried potatoe and toast.

"Don't they teach you to chew, swallow and then talk?"

"Wut?"

"In Canada", he explained removing the crust from his toast before dipping them into his yolk. "You were talking with your mouth full."

"So?" She said after managing to swallow a mouthful of pancake. "It's like 12 O'clock. No one eats breakfast this late at night.

"Except for us."

"Well that's cause we're special."

"Specially awesome."

"Word. We are awesome."


	3. Next Time

Next Time

A/N: belated edit due to formating trouble, there are actually two pieces in this chapter.

* * *

"So you want to catch a late supper or early breakfast thing again?"

"Nah, I'm just gonna see what's in the fridge."

"Oh, okay." Barney seemed hurt. "Whatever, that's cool."

* * *

"Hey, d'you eat yet?" Having an early meal together was becoming a habit, one Barney was happy to keep.

"Yup, Lily made a romantic dinner for Ted and Karen." Barney frowned. "They broke up. Again."

"Alright!" They high-fived. "So, wait, what do you mean? You had a late dinner with Ted?"

"Yeah."

"A late, romantic dinner?... With Ted..." He tried to keep smiling.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." His eyes softened.


	4. It's the reason I

It's the reason I...

* * *

"Sorry, Barney, can't today."

"Don't you mean tonight?"

"Tonight for you, today for me; why are you up so early anyways?"

"You mean up so late? No reason. I was talking to Ted."

"Ted went to bed early. Has to see the bank tomorrow for a business loan."

"With Marshall and Lily?"

"Please."

"I just am..."

"Couldn't find a good bimbo?"

"... Yes? Yeah, Ted's a crappy wingman."

"Especially when he's sleeping."

"'Xactly, I mean what kind of monster can sleeps while his wingman is left to sleep alone."

"Shameful. So you gonna hit the hay soon?"

"After this show..."


	5. Recovery Food

Recovery food

* * *

"It'll make you feel better!"

"Robin, I'm just too tired..."

"The doctor said you'd be fine. ..In two to three weeks.. You've gotta eat anyways."

"Robin, my hair is pink. I'm not going out with pink hair and whatever this weird net thingy is. I feel naked without my suit..."

"So just take a shower, it'll wash out."

"What will?"

"The pink."

"Too tired. Back hurts. Could you?"

"I'm not giving you a shower."

"I wasn't gonna say that."

"What were you gonna say?"

"I.. was.. just about to suggest that we order in."

"Like breakfast in bed?"

"Well..."

"No."


	6. Too Late

A/N: Set pre-Mosbius Designs.

* * *

"So Ted's gonna get an intern?"

"Uh huh", Robin replied picking at her stack of pancakes.

"Think it'll help him out of the starting gate?" Barney asked, happy to talk to Robin, one on one.

"Might", she hastily swallowed, nearly choking on the way too big piece. "I'm gonna be late for work."

"You still got 15 minutes."

"And it's a 10 minute drive if I get a cab and there's no traffic."

"Alright calm down. I'll have you know, that I called you a cab five minutes ago."

"Great. I'll see you later then?" And with that she left.


	7. WOF

A/N: Still in reference to Mosbius Designs

* * *

"Hey Barney, what's up?"

"Trying to get Erikson's job securely in place, you?"

"Bored. There's a surprising lack of things to do at lunch time."

"TV?"

"And get pulled into the world of soap opera? No thank you. Too much drama in there. It's all "I love them" but "they love that other guy" and "she's sleeping with what's his face while the other guy's in love with her" and then the murder stories and baby complications... I mean really, who buys that crap?"

"TPIR might be on; 'course now that Drew's the host..."

"Wheel of Fortune?"

"Awesome show."


	8. Everything

Everything

A/N: Still Mosbius Designs - during Robin fling with Ted's intern: PJ

* * *

"PJ?!"

"Well, think about it, it's a lot more convenient. We're just gonna have some cereal or something when I get off work," she continued with a suggestive tone of voice, "and then we could just climb into-"

"I DON'T NEED A PICTURE!" Barney yelled over the phone, scarring a pedestrian walking in front of his building. On her end of the line Robin frowned.

"Everything all right there, buddy?"

"Everything's fine – why wouldn't everything be fine? – we're all fantastic – we're great – in fact we're freaking awesome – geez Robin, you of all people should know that." He tried to laugh at her, playing his reaction as a joke, but it came out as panting.


	9. Article 83

Article 83

A/N: Still set in Mosbius Designs, before Marshall finds out. Also I know everyone loves the number 83 for made up facts/statistics, but that's the actual article for this (lol).

* * *

"It's a violation of the Platinum Rule," Barney said to Marshall and Ted who were sitting in their usual booth

"Robin doesn't work with him. She just lives at his work place."

"That is beyond the point, Marshall. This _thing_ Robin has going on with that intern... An intern! It's got to stop."

"And why is that?"

"I told you... It's breaking the Platinum Rule, article 83 of the Bro Code. As a Bro, Robin must adhere to it..."

"Wouldn't I be breaking it if I hired some hot chick to bang?"

"Of course not, Ted, you'd be her superior."


	10. It’s Easy

It's Easy

A/N: This is the last one for Mosbius Design – I oath it.

* * *

"You know you can't keep her from dating other people." Marshall said once they were outside and away from the ninja.

"I know... I don't- I just-..." Barney sighed. He didn't want to control Robin. (Even if he did, he couldn't. Not 'til those R/D folks approved those suggestive-thought pills.) He just couldn't stand to see her with anyone else.

"Well, you could."

"I could?"

"Sure you could."

"How?" He step closer, eyes wide and heart pounding.

"Easy", Marshall said, provoking Barney's most questioning air of annoyance. "Just ask her out. That way, you'll be the one she's dating."


	11. Wait for it

Wait for it...

A/N: I don't read spoilers (not really) so if this has anything to do with what will happen, it's a complete coincidence. Writing between Mosbius Designs and Three Days.

A/N/N: lol, it totally works *grins*

Belated beta: insertpunhere who is on LJ and myabe here too (?) Anyways they helped with the spacing.

* * *

"So we eat and then I'll walk you there?

...

"No really it's no trouble, besides the weather's getting warm.

...

"Well not everyone grew up in ridiculously cold places – thank God!

...

"It'll give me a chance to scan this new bar close by.

...

"After you finish?

...

"Okay, see ya then, bye." Barney hung up his handless phone set, swivelling his chair around to find Marshall, a grin on his face, staring at him. "Hi Marshall."

"Who were you talking to?"

"No one."

"Robin?"

"Wha-why do you ask?"

Marshall raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe."

"Just checking." Marshall walked out, smile still in place.


	12. Sound it Out

A/N: I wrote this with a pen and paper instead of doing my math homework. Math just seems to put me in a super HIMYM mood. Set after Three Days.  
A/N/N: I've wanted to use that line for months!

Sound It Out

* * *

"So you wanna have sex with Ted?" She smiled.

"No, why would you-"

"Marshall told Lily and she told me." Robin explained before eating the last of her ham and cheese omelette.

"Lily... I remember her. She's the chick who's shunning us for a joke."

"You maybe, she ain't shunning me. Maybe you should apologize."

"It was a joke!" Barney replied, distraught about his predicament. Lily was being silly; on the other hand it was nice to talk to Robin about it. "It was like saying hello to Mr Ess. First name Larry."

Robin frowned, about to gulp down her coffee.

"Hi – Larry – Ess."


	13. Cause

Cause

A/N: Written post "Right Place, Right Time". Set a little before it.

* * *

"Yo Roland, what's rolling!" She didn't reply. "Get it? 'Cause it's like 'what's up!' but instead it rhymes."

"Yeah, real funny Barney. It's not gonna catch on."

"It could..."

"No it couldn't. Trust me, Swarley, you don't want to open that door again."

"Woa, woa, woa. Let's not go crazy here." He heard her smile on the other end.

That's not good. You know you got it bad when you can hear her smile. ... and when you smile after realizing that.

"So what'd you call for?"

"Food?"

"Nah, I'm late already. I'm just gonna grab a bagel before work."


	14. And

And

* * *

"Oh my God!" Barney was up early, if asked he would say he was getting ready for a super top secret meeting or something.

He was watching Robin's early morning show _**– not that he'd ever tell her**_. It was better she didn't know. And if Lily ever found out she'd never let off. (heh)

But this! This must be shared. He had to tell – tell someone! No wait a minute. He couldn't just tell someone. They'd know that he watches her show... He needed a way to show everyone without making it completely obvious that he wanted to spend every minute of every day watching her and laughing at her bad jokes and making prank calls to the station... but how?

The internet!


	15. Effect

Effect

* * *

"So you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine." She cut her French toast up into small triangular bits. "Really." She tried again when he wouldn't stop looking at her with... with that look.

"'kay", he looked away and sighed. "You sure?"

Robin rolled her eyes.

"'Cause the French toast could be some weird Canadian craving."

"Barney, I already told you: I'm not pregnant."

"And can I say again how awesome that is, but-"

"It was food poisoning. That's it, that's all."

"Right." He looked back to his own hardly-eaten French toast.

"Are you ok?"

"Me? What, yeah, course, no, yes." She frowned. "I'm awesome. As per-us"


	16. Driven by – passion

Driven by – passion

A/N: Set after As Fast As She Can (4.23)

* * *

"Loser buys the food; that was the deal." Robin said after Barney opened the door for her.

"I thought it would be nicer if we ate indoors and-"

"You can't drive?"

"I can totally drive! It took me a while, and let's not mention the incident of '07, but I can now drive an automobile, fearlessly."

"Not without a license."

"What would make you think that? I got out of my last ticket remember? Hot cop?... woman?… under her?.."

"Yeah, I'm not gonna buy it." She sat down in his kitchen. He sighed, discouraged but not about to admit defeat, readjusting his sleeves, his jacket off. "So what'd you make?"


	17. MERDUR!

MERDUR!

* * *

"This isn't half bad." Robin had to admit; Barney could cook.

"Thanks", he smiled, pleased she approved. "You want some more coffee?"

"Love some." She smiled back. Barney tried to ignore the funny feeling in his stomach and poured some hot coffee into her cup. "So did you know - that Ted - was almost hired for to make a murder room?"

"A murder room?"

"Uh huh." She nodded. "I'm serious, he had a job interview with a murderer. Probably."

"Did he call the police?"

"No, it was Tony's friend or something."

"Tony's friend? Tony's friend the murderer?"

"Creepy right?"


	18. Funny to Look at

Funny to Look at

* * *

"So I tell him Bilson, if you're in such a rush, just give it to her!" Barney finished his joke and Robin exploded with laughter.

"I get it", she managed between fits of giggles, "'cause the sandwich had a banana. That's hilarious Barney!"

"Mhhh", he smiled taking one last bite of food. "I thought you'd appreciate it."

"Yeah... you're a funny guy." She stopped laughing and stared at him thoughtfully.

For a second Barney thought she was considering what a catch he was or that he might just be everything she's ever wanted or that they could be perfect together or that...

"Shit I'm late for work!"


	19. Pause

Pause

* * *

"I am so glad you've decided to rejoin our little gang." Robin said to Lily, they were alone in the booth and had needed some time to catch up. "It just hasn't been the same without you."

"What can I say? I'm one of a kind."

"Here, here!" They clinked their beer bottles together.

"So what's new?"

"Oh, nothing much. Barney told me this great new joke yesterday morning, but since that's the reason you left last time I'm not so sure I should tell it you." Lily smiled at her comment but didn't miss it's implication.

"Wait Barney told it to you yesterday morning?"


	20. Recap

Recap

* * *

"You've been having brunch with Barney?" Lily's eyes turned to saucers.

"No, of course not."

Lily stared at her – on the brim of exploding – awaiting more of an explanation.

"First off it's not brunch. He stays out late looking for bimboes and I have to wake up early for work. It's my breakfast and his dinner." She reached her conclusion and took a swing of beer thinking over her phrasing. "It's brinner, is what it is."

"Okay fine, but you two have been having brunch – I mean brinner together like every day?"

"No, not every day. It's not like it's a routine or something..."


	21. Mission Possible

Mission Possible

A/N: Set right after the last one.

* * *

Lily just kept looking at her.

Marshall knew his wife.

She was going to talk.

"Robin, Lily! Hi, how are you?" he said rushing to the booth as soon as he walked through the door of McLarens. It was a strange sight considering his size. "Good? Good! Hey listen, Lilypad, we gotta go. Now." He tried to make her understand through head tilts and glares.

"What?"

"I know right!" He began to laugh, trying to make Robin think it was an inside joke of theirs or something. Or maybe it was nerves. "But really let's go."

Mission extract-Lily-before-she-tells-Robin-Barney's-secret was achieved.


	22. StatusQuo

Status-Quo

A/N: Set Pre-Leap

* * *

They were out for some chow, no big deal. They'd come to this nice little restaurant, close enough to Robin's station that she didn't have to worry about being late. It was becoming their regular spot, seeing as they've been coming here for the past few weeks.

"So Ted's got this hat house to build," Robin continued as Barney smiled at her incoming joke, "and for inspiration guess what he's been doing?"

"Don't tell me he's!"

"Yeah he is!" Robin said just as amused as Barney. "He's wearing the boots." Barney cracked up.

"We should take those away from his. Bro cannot pull it off."


	23. The price of it

23- The price of it

* * *

Robin excused herself to the washroom and Barney was left to finish off his eggs. He figured he might as well pay for the whole meal while he was waiting. Usually they each paid for their own and sometimes one of them would treat the other.

"Check please?" he called to a passing waitress.

"Alright then," she began to scribble down their purchases. "Are you paying for your girlfriend's meal too or is separate?"

"Uhh..." Barney's mind went into shock.

Girlfriend? Girlfriend...

Did she just?

Robin's not my–

I mean I wouldn't mind...

GILRFRIEND?!

I should ask if we make a cute couple.

COUPLE!?


	24. Apology

24- Apology

* * *

"Hello?" The waitress waved her hand in front of his face. "Sir?"

"Whuu?" Barney blinked several times and looked back up.

"Sir, I just wanted to know if you were paying separately or not?"

"Yeah, right, uh... sorry about that... I – I'll be paying for both. But uh... she's not my... girlfriend."

"Oh, well I just thought since you've been coming here every day to have brunch together that you were a couple. Sorry I guess. Here's your check." She handed him the clip of paper and left; just then Robin emerged from the bathroom.

"Yeah me too..."


	25. Playing dumb

Playing dumb

* * *

He was being stupid. But Robin was perfect. But it was stupid. Really, really stupid.

"And then they wanted me to fill in for our weatherman."

"You're gonna be doing the weather?"

"No way. I didn't do it. I mean come on, a clown, lame!"

"Clown?" Barney frowned and played dumb. "What clown?"

"Don't any of you watch my show?" He shook his head. "Really? You guys have literally never seen any part of it?"

"Well that's not completely true." It wasn't true at all; he's probably seen everything she's ever been in. "I did see that one barfing scene."


	26. Invited

Invited

* * *

He had been walking her over to the station during their conversation. So she asked him to come in.

"You could watch my show!"

"What?" Barney yawned.

"I really want one of you to see it, and it would mean a lot, please?" She really did look excited about the idea.

"But it's like four. Four AM."

"So?"

"So it's like four O'Clock in the morning."

"Please, Barney?"

How was he suppose to say no? How could anyone in their right mind say no? Clearly he should have gone to bed, so a lack of sleep may have to do with his decision, but still!


	27. Hot stuff

Hot stuff

* * *

She got him some tea – he wasn't a big coffee drinker – and started to introduce him to whoever passed by and stopped to chat.

Everyone seemed strangely awake...

The first to pass and stop by the small table and chair set Robin had set up for him in perfect view for the show, was Juliana. Barney was drinking his tea and was courteous and friendly. She and Robin talked for a bit before she left again and that's when Robin called him on it.

"Dude, she was hot, why didn't you try flirting?"

"Robin, it is four in the morning."


	28. Mr Sandman

Mr. Sandman

* * *

Robin went to get her hair and makeup done and left Barney with his table and tea.

As soon as she was out of sight he crossed his arms on the table – he was sitting – and let out a sigh dropping his head.

He tried to get out of the bar early to catch some sleep for these early morning brunches brinners but he wasn't able to tonight. Last night? And he couldn't leave. She was so excited...

This tea wasn't working.

He sat up and grabbed the first non-important looking guy he could see.

"You busy?"

"Me? No, I deliver the donuts."


	29. Bull

Bull

* * *

"Good morning New York, I'm Robin Scherbatsky."

"Hey I got the stuff." The non-important looking kid said. Robin's show had just started so his timing was pretty good, it would have been better 83 seconds ago, but beggars can't be choosers. He handed Barney a paper bag.

"Great, thanks, er... Keep the change," he said and waved him off, turning his attention back to the show.

"And welcome to Come on, Get up, New York!" She said with a plastered on smile.

Barney took a Red Bull out of the paper bag and drank up, smiling to Robin who glanced his way.


	30. Please

Please

* * *

"You know what, it wasn't a bad show."

"Told ya," Robin interjected and sat down next to Barney. They were back at the apartment she shared with Ted.

"Yeah, I guess... Still too damn early though." He rubbed his eye and stretched out on the couch – placing his arm on Robin's shoulders were a nice bonus. She laughed softly.

"Well ... hey don't you have to go to work soon?"

"Eh," he shrugged, "it's not like I've never pulled an all-nighter before."

"Right I'm sure you've had plenty of encounters that-"

"Actually I have had to stay at work late, all night sometimes."

"And you would be doing what exactly?"

"Please."


	31. Lessons

Lessons

* * *

"So, Scherbatsky," Barney said starting a new topic, "what do you do all day after work?"

"Oh, I keep myself busy." She played along.

"Really?" His arm becoming comfortable.

"Sure, I watch TV, go to the bar – not much to do there in the daytime..."

"That is surprising."

"Isn't it?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"I thought so as well, but it's not like I can stay here all day. I tried to last week and you know what happened?"

"No, Robin, I don't!" He said in a mockingly interested tone. "What happened?"

"I learned the difference between a balcony and a porch. It was very instructive."

"Guys, I'm trying to work here," Ted interrupted.


	32. Action cop

Action cop

A/N: Set right before "The Leap", so spoiler warning for that and also for "Murtaugh".

* * *

"You guys have seriously never heard of Bon Cop Bad Cop?"

"Robin, please, that sounds like a kid's film," Barney said. Taking a drink, he added. "Or a porno."

"It's literally one of the best Canadian Cop movies out!" They had been discussing films, gravitating from Star Wars to Star Trek.

"I thought you said that McFleury one was the best?" Marshall interrupted their banter.

"I said it was the inspiration for Lethal Weapon, I mean really, it's the greatest Canadian action movie of all time. But Bon Cop Bad Cop is pretty good too."

"Please."


	33. CND awesome

CND awesome

* * *

"It is! We- you guys should watch it." Lily seemed to be the only one to notice Robin's small slip; she had quickly turned from Barney to the rest of the table.

"Why?"

"Because it's awesome."

"Don't think so, there are few to none things that are Canadian and awesome."

"The whole thing circles around murderer whose first victim's body is found in the "welcome to" sign between Quebec and Ontario; so they have to get a cop from Ottawa and one from Montreal and if that isn't exciting enough-" she babbled and Barney listened – despite a few eye rolls he smiled when he heard about the sex scene.


	34. Anniversary

Anniversary

* * *

Barney left MacLarens early that night, even before Robin went off to bed. Ted had been working all day on his hat house so Barney had been comfortably seated next to her, across from Marshall and Lily. It was great. They made jokes, talked about ... stuff and things.

And then he realized something.

He realized it had been a year.

Exactly one year.

Not that he kept count or anything... but he had made a note on his private blog and in his scrapbook – he didn't think a picture was appropriate but it had to be marked down somewhere.


	35. Smoking

Smoking

* * *

He walked around the block and thought about buying some cigarettes. He had told his mom he'd quit smoking with her – and he did. The occasion cigar wasn't the same thing, his mom had never gone for cigars – couldn't afford it. It helped kill some of the stress and it looked good.

Oh sure, he knew smoking was bad for your health; it could even hurt the people around you – but smoking added a whole new level to you. Especially cigars.

It was sophisticated, it was a style and it meant you could afford it.

So Barney thought about buying some cigars and surprising Robin after they ate.


	36. Before Bed

Before Bed

* * *

By the time Barney came back to MacLarens Robin had gone to bed, Marshall and Lily were looking over and double checking their plans for Ted's surprise roof top birthday party. Barney ordered a beer.

"So... Robin went off to bed?"

"Yup, she left about fifteen minutes after you did." Lily said reviewing some list.

"That's nice..." he twirled his beer around, amusing himself with the way the liquid hit its confinement. Marshall and Lily looked at each other.

"Wanna talk about something buddy?" Marshall asked.

"No... it's just...well you two know about my situation with Robin right?"


	37. Questions

Questions

* * *

"What about it?"

He took a deep breath before continuing. "Lately, I've been thinking that, I don't know, maybe I should..."

"Oh my God, are you going to tell her?!" Lily squeaked in excitement. "You are! You're going to tell Robin how you feel! Oh, this is so exciting."

"So you think I should?"

"Of course we do!" Lily almost screamed.

"'Cause, you know... I mean I could tell her."

"Then tell her!"

"And why wouldn't she want a little something, something," he motioned with his eyebrows. "Who wouldn't?"

"Sure, whatever; just tell her."


	38. Answers

Answers

* * *

"But it is Robin, we're talking about – she isn't just some bimboe, not like that blonde at the end of the bar..." he checked her out.

"Barney, focus," Lily said annoyed. "If you're serious about Robin, you have to tell her and you have stop sleeping around."

"Lily–"

"I mean it! Robin's not gonna go for you if she see's you as some womanizer."

He sighed, mulling it over for a few minutes before getting up and leaving the bar, nodding gratefully to them.

"So, is he going to tell her or?..." Marshall asked utterly confused.


	39. obsTEDcal

obsTEDcal

A/N: I just want to shout-out to "Voldemort- Coolest Badguy EVER" for their awesomely amazingly flatering comments ^^ (the best - well top 5 - surprise I ever got)

* * *

Ted was a problem, possibly. Every time Barney had made a move for Robin, Ted was there – or had something to say about it.

That time they went laser tagging and played their pick-up game and battleship; Ted's constant attention towards Robin had finally paid off.

The one time they had sex; Ted was – well not _there_, but he did punch him for it, not exactly positive reinforcement. He banned him from the group, from seeing any of them...

When he told her he loved her; she thought he was pretending to be Ted.

There was only one way to fix it.


	40. Delusions

Delusions

A/N: It's probably unclear, but Barney is at work here; so he went to bed in the last one, woke up and is now procrastinating, whatever it is he does, for this.

* * *

Dear Theodore Mosby,

It has come to the attention of great authority that a certain close friend is under certain delusions. These delusions have evolved over time and involve another mutual acquaintance. To better examine these delusions it is recommended that your two acquaintances deal with these developments on their own. Several times. To do so, it would be appreciated and indeed advised that you do not disturb these future actions.

Barney stared at his letter, fully prepared to send it. It would work, right? Okay, it probably wouldn't.

He sighed, shaking his head.

"I'm gonna have to explain it to him."


	41. Plan

Plan

* * *

Robin wouldn't wake up for another hour and a half, so he had some time. He had decided.

He was gonna tell Robin, he was going to tell her... He would fine a quiet spot, right where the light hits her right (not that she ever looked bad), and he was going to tell her he loved her.

He loved everything about her.

He loved her hair, he loved her drinking habits, he loved the way she moved, he loved everything she said and he could even overlook that she was Canadian! If that wasn't love, what was?

He loved her so much, the word lost meaning.


	42. What to do

What to do

A/N: And now for The Leap. Spoiler! (If you haven't guessed already.)

* * *

The thought alone that he was going to tell her gave him a sense of overwhelming relief. For the first time in months he felt confident about everything – before there was always a heavy weight over him.

_He was going to tell Robin..._

He turned and made his way to the staircase.

_Robin... well she might be surprised at first._

One more floor to go.

_But they were perfect for each other, she _had_ to see that._

He walked down the corridor, almost there.

_Robin Scherbatsky... _

He turned the doorknob and walked, smiling, into Ted and Robin's apartment.

_But first, Ted._


	43. Happy Curiosity

43- Happy Curiosity

A/N: This feels like new stuff - I know it's still last season so.. spoilers up to "The Leap"  
It's just nice to write something that's not complete angst.  
A/N/N: This next batch I'll dedicate to Voldemort- Coolest Badguy EVER - because really, I would have forgotten all about it and went to bed were it not for their awesome persistence and reviews =) In fact: ANYONE WHO REVIEWS SHOULD GET SOMETHING! So... review and I might give you something. Or maybe offer requests or something... so yeah.

Sorry! I forgot to add DoodleTaffy and donteatacowman and anyone else out there! You review, you rule. =) *end of longest Author's Note ever*

* * *

Robin was up early. Damn. She really thought she adjusted to her new schedule.

Stretching in bed, she turned to the clock. Barney should still be up...

The man kept strange hours. He would complain about work – oddly enough, without ever mentioning a title or any sort of indication to what it was he did – but stay up 'til the sun rose.

How he managed and why he would even bother staying up 'til 2 and sometimes 'til 3 O'clock in the morning, Robin couldn't figure it out.

Not that she was complaining about it. It was nice to have extra time to hang out with Barney.


	44. Time to wake up

Time to wake up

* * *

Robin yawned and, now sitting on her bed, stared blankly at the wall in front of her. She could definitely still use some sleep. She had over an hour 'til the alarm on her clock would ring, that should be enough nap-time.

Suddenly, there was a loud clap outside her door; Robin jumped, startled.

"Hey Ted, what'ya doing?"

_Was that Barney?_

"Designing a building shape like a hat."

_Ugh, I do not envy their neighbours._

"Now a good time to chat?"

"No."

"So what do you think of Robin?"

_Wait what? Robin? What about Robin? _


	45. It’s a Metaphor

It's a Metaphor

* * *

Robin, quietly, got up and rushed – quietly rushed to her door frame to better listen.

"Say you and I went suit shopping."

_God, that man had a short attention span. Shit – what if he was going to mention Sparkles?!_

"And you happen upon a beautiful suit – a beautiful Canadian suit. Double breasted. Mrrrrrrrrrr."

Robin frowned.

"You try it on, but it's not exactly the right fit for you so you put it back."

_Am I supposed to be the suit?_

"Then I try it on."

_Oh my God._

"I don't really wanna take the same suit that you had your eye on, but at the same time... I really like that suit."


	46. BS

B.S.

* * *

This was Barney. Barney Stinson.

The man who video tapes his conquests. The man who actually paid actors to _pretend_ to be his family – a wife and kid. Okay so that was for a good cause – sort of – but still...

This was Barney Stinson.

He was a happy to sleep around, to never have to worry about getting tied down or smothered or forced to break off bits of hers- correction: of himself to share with his partner. He was just like her – they both felt a little sick about the whole "relationship" phenomenon. 'Course she could handle it better than he could.


	47. Explanation

Explanation

* * *

_He... he likes me? Literally, like, like me! What – Well – But..._

"Buy the suit Barney. You clearly care about it; tell the suit how you feel."

_Clearly, Ted isn't going to be any help. _

"Okay. But Ted, remember that that was your answer because... the suit is Robin."

_Duh dude._

"I know!"

He brought his hands up and made an explosive noise. Robin couldn't help but smile at his exhibition.

"Right?!"

"I'm with you buddy."

"You are now. Because I explained it to you."

And then they hugged.

Robin's smiled disappeared.

He was serious.

"Oh crap"


	48. Oh goody

Oh good-y

A/N: I want to try and write a bit more before S5 to better transition but... well there would have been too many at once, so here's some and hopefully I'll have a couple more by Monday *fingers crossed*

* * *

_Not good, not good, not good, not good, not good._

_Oh this is so not good._

Robin quietly shut her door and glanced nervously about her room.

She heard some hustling outside and it sounded like Barney left.

She leant against her door and fell to the floor softly, letting a sigh out.

_Okay, think Robin._

_Barney Stinson... apparently... is... well he's got a thing._

_And it seems serious._

_He has a serious thing._

_For me._

_And I'm not talking about his penis._

_He had a feeling type of thing. _

And she had a feeling that he was going to make trouble by telling her about it.


	49. Restless

Restless

Credit: For help on the title, although he had no idea what the context was, thanks go out to msmanuscript

* * *

Barney headed downstairs to MacLarens, grinning the entire way down.

Ted said it was fine; hell Ted gave _his blessings._

Ted was like the best friend anyone could ever ask for. Which was why he was _his_ best friend.

Now he just had to wait until Robin woke up.

Beautiful, smart, intelligent, kind, awesome, hot and a perfect 21. Robin...

They had already agreed, before she snuck off to bed, to meet before she headed off to work. He told her that Lily was making him stay up anyway – party stuff or something.

His grin widened.


	50. The point

The point

A/N: WOO! Brinner number Fifty! (Never thought it would happen when I wrote the first one.) Just thought I'd point it out, anywho…

* * *

Robin sat on her bed, watching the clock tick by. Tick slowly by. It didn't even tick – it was digital – but still, it brought the point across.

The point being that if Robin sent Barney an immediate text message and/or phone call to tell him she couldn't meet him for something to eat – _how could she?!_ – he would know that she was up. He would then proceed to suspect that she might have overheard him and Ted.

And – seeing as Barney is the new Ted – he might insist on talking about it.

Robin didn't even want to think about it.


	51. Speed bump

Speed bump

* * *

Barney was just preparing to head back up to see if Robin was ready. He had reserved a table at this local restaurant – nothing fancy, medium lighting, quiet and he made sure they were stocked up on real maple syrup of course. But he didn't want to scare her. So he didn't hire any professional musicians or anything corny like that. Although a violinist might be cool...

However in the midst of these nervously joyful thoughts, his iphone buzzed in his inner pocket.

_Heading to work early, I'll have a donut or something, sorry about that, later okay. Bye RS_


	52. Reply

Reply

* * *

Barney winced, he could tell her later though. So he, instead, turned his grimace into an interrogatory glare and texted back.

_That's fine Your buying next time! _

...he should make a joke, she'd have to text him back if he teased her nationality...

_Ha! Donut eh? U r so CND_

_What's that aboot?_

He grinned and punched the send button.

"Who are you texting?" Lily asked, she and Marshall were sitting on the other side of the table.

"Robin." He answered before realizing what he was saying. Shit.

"Really?!" His eyes drifted up and spotted hers. Big as saucers.


	53. 2 B or Nt 2 B

2 B or Nt 2 B

* * *

Robin glared at her phone. Damn text message. She could pretend she was busy. Rushing to work or something... Yeah... he might know her schedule as well as his own but he'd buy that... probably...

Then again he was asking for it... she could already picture the grin he must have made while imagining her own deflated expression at his small good humoured comment. She grabbed her phone and slowly typed:

_Haha – not._

She should definitely not send it... It was start up a whole thing... damn. What the hell was she suppose to do...

Deleting her message she wrote a new one.

_Lily, must talk. Urgent. Where R U?_


	54. Watch it

Watch it

* * *

Barney awkwardly stirred on his side of the booth. Lily and Marshall's accusing and judging eyes were on him, it was like they were expecting him to recite a love sonnet or something.

"Stop staring at me!" He stated, annoyed.

The two smiled to each other and warmly turned back to Barney, compassionately willing him to talk about his _feelings_.

Pity looks. He pouted. Looking away and enjoying his freshly delivered drink and the heat and numbness it provided as he swallowed it whole.

Looking back up to the eager faces of his friends, he sighed.

Three minutes later, he had left the bar and Lily was reading a text message.


	55. Inside Joke

Inside Joke

A/N: piece of advice: don't write serious fanfic while watching the gag reel X)  
A/N/N: In case you're confused this is still in "The Leap", at about 1am... or later.  
A/N/N/N: Thank you **msmanuscript** for pointing out a typo.

* * *

Barney didn't want to tell Lily.

What would Lily do?

She would 'aww' him – ugh. He did not need Lily and Marshall's aw'ing. He was already full of awe. Awesome, that is, what up. He'd have to remember that later when he talked to Robin. She'd probably break into a grin and high five him...

In any case Lily would just be annoying and Marshall wouldn't help him much either.

He didn't need that. He didn't need to tell them everything he did – that'd be way too clingy.

So Barney went home to get a few hours of extra sleep.


	56. Thinking

Thinking

* * *

Robin came down as soon as she saw Barney get into a cab and leave. She needed consoling...

As she pulled the bar's door open, she could think only one phrase: "Lily better be on my side."

Well that was her second thought.

Her first instinctive one was: "Everyone's going to want us together." It was accompanied with a few flashbacks... Barney sweetly smiling... cracking jokes with him... Barney rubbing against her in the booth... Barney's brave face while he re-learns to walk... hugs and high fives... silly childish things... things to brighten your day... Barney...

She instantly pushed it aside and buried it away.


	57. Fairy Tale

Fairy Tale

* * *

They wouldn't invite her dad. He would insist though and joke about daddy issues.

She'd have a huge ring, with a diamond as big as... well.

Ted would be teased for getting married after the monogamist. Then again he was her ex... Maybe they wouldn't invite him? But he was Barney's best friend...

They'd have ribs and whiskey...

She'd definitely keep her name.

Everyone would wear suits – except the girls – his would be the best of course.

Their B&B would have secret rooms – sex-zones.

Brunch and brinner would be served.

For their first anniversary he'd get her a puppy.

...

Not.


	58. Lies

Lies

* * *

Lily really was an evil genius. Giving Barney the Mosby would be the stuff of legends. So when Barney turned to her, gave her the quick once over without adding some cute remark... She knew it was time.

So she did it.

Robin Scherbatsky told Barney Stinson she was in love with him, for fake. Or at least she "thought" she was.

Something shifted in her chest when she did, it was a strange feeling.

Probably 'cause she didn't say it much.

She said it to Ted. But it was... different. It bubbled up after months of building.

But this... this just... came...

Except... except it wasn't real.


	59. Addicted

Addicted

* * *

Barney bought it. Aimed, shot and gunned down like some prairie rodent.

He rubbed her hair and walked away.

And Robin was thrilled, 'course she had to act the part of a heart broken unrequited love.

So she cast away from the crowd and found a wall to lean on, turning her eyes up to see Barney back to normal. That was quick – good. He was talking to a blond with gullible eyes and a silly hopeful smile growing wider as she listened to her Barney talk. Wait her? She didn't just... no.

Robin gave a sigh and pulled out a cigarette.


	60. American Idiot

American Idiot

A/N: This is a slight teaser in that it's the last bits for "The Leap". I know I took long enough! =/ Sorry? Anyway next bunch (and believe me there will be MANY) will be based between S4 and S5. As in the summer. But these are still for The Leap =)

A/N/N: I hold no personal hatred to USA or Canada. It's just a title – no hate reviews please?

* * *

Robin said she loved him.

And at that exact moment, everything became clear. He was an idiot, stupid, a complete dunce!

He didn't love Robin.

She was _Robin_. She was Ted's ex. She was his bro. She was a friend. She was a wing-woman. She was Canadian. She was in love with him.

And could he blame her?

He was awesome. He was handsome and totally hot – not that she looked any worse. He was smart and funny and challenging – and according to Ted that's her description of her perfect man.

They had a lot in common...

Love was silly.


	61. Time Lapse

Time Lapse

* * *

So Robin didn't love him. So what?

Eight minutes ago he knew he didn't either.

Seven minutes ago he remembered that he wasn't the guy who prepared declarations of love. Lame.

Six minutes ago he was thinking of which position he could get this girl into. Rockettes gotta be flexible right?

Five minute ago he looked over said girl's shoulder and caught a glimpse of Robin asking some guy to light her cigarette.

Four minute ago he decided he should prove his new state of mind and found Lily.

Damn.


	62. All you need

All you need

A/N: Ever seen that HIMYM video with "Elephant Love Medly"? It's awesome. Kayobsessive made it at 2 am apparently... Anyway they have no idea I'm slightly spoofing it. Because I'm watching it over and over and over... So if you're reading.. thanks!

* * *

Why did everything always have to be so hard? (Not a pun.)

They were friends. And he was doing this.

Telling her he was in love with her?! What was wrong with him? He was going to screw everything up. He was Barney, she was Robin; they were friends.

Sure she dated Ted for a while, but look how well that turned out!

It never worked out.

So she fixed things. She said it first and scared him off.

And now everything should be fine.

They were friends. She didn't want to screw that up.

It was for their own good...


	63. Is love

Is love

* * *

On the way to the hospital they sat next to each other. He turned to her and grinned awkwardly and she did the same.

Then they looked away.

He had to take a deep breath to steady himself. He felt flustered. He felt a tinkling sensation inside. It was wonderful. It made him sick. It made his heart ache.

Damn her.

Why couldn't she be... lame.

But no. She had to be amazing. She was beautiful, intelligent, funny... she could do no wrong.

So Barney remembered.

He remembered looking forward to getting to sit next to her at the end of a long day; getting a rush from seeing her smile....

He remembered... he remembered that he was in love with her.


	64. Fill in the

Fill in the ______

A/N: Super busy lately, in fact Sazz may be mad at me for negleting her fic tonight... sorry! Not sure when the next update will be but I will say this: this is a cannon fic, it will not change; those prompt some reviewers got - sorry to others but there was a clear warning - will get done, later and I already know how I'm gonna spin it. Mostly. Now excuse me as I study stuff.

* * *

After getting down from the roof – and agreeing to never discuss what had transpired on that roof – they managed to _just_ miss last calls at MacLarens.

Which was a shame considering Marshall's desperate need to get drunk at the moment. So Lily took him home while Ted argued against spending the night with an evil goat – whom they had locked in the bathroom with its beloved facecloth (stupid goat).

All this action seemed quite inconvenient to Barney who yawned, called Ted a few names – in good humour – and opted to head home.

Marshall and Lily eventually convinced Ted to leave the goat alone for the night and everyone crawled into bed.


	65. Blank

Blank

* * *

Robin returned to her room yawning, it had been a long day and all she wanted was a few hours of sleep before going to work – and not to think about Barney and her and how they... She'd worry about that later.

Her phone buzzed gently, on her night stand.

_Robin! U still up?_

_If not then you must be now._

_Write back soon._

It was from Barney. Of course.

That she felt a small summersault in her chest and couldn't hold a small smile back was not to deter Robin's initial annoyance of him booty-texting her.


	66. Single’s Last

Single's Last

* * *

Barney had indeed gone home. His first thought was to have himself one last night. One more late night bimbo at the bar pick-up before... well it wasn't like he and Robin were getting married – but when they... well... If they became...

So that was his plan (if you can call it that).

One more bimbo; one more random fling – for old times' sake.

He walked into a bar by his apartment and hated his stupid plan as soon as he did.

_One last night of meaningless sex before being with the woman I'm... before Robin. _Robin.

He walked out in 16 minutes, pulling his cell phone out, sending a text.


	67. Joie de Vie

Joie de Vie

* * *

Ted was quite upset that he had to spend the night with the beast lurking nearby.

All in all it was an oddly inspiring birthday. And now he was 31. He got attacked by a goat, architecturally destroyed by his cheesy nemesis – Sven... hate them... – and jumped off the roof and lived to tell the tale (although they agreed not to), and that was in one night.

His love life might be dead and his career might be over, but at least he wasn't totally boring. And that was his last thought before drifting away to snooze-ville.

Meanwhile his roommate was letting her special guest in.


	68. Trick no Treat

Trick no Treat

* * *

Marshall and Lily had made it home, exhausted and – after Marshall cleaned his cuts and made a brief phone call – they snuggled into bed together.

"Do you think Missy will be alright with Ted?"

"She'll be fine, I think it's Ted we have to worry about," Marshall replied. "I mean, she sent him to the hospital. Who knows what she'll do tonight. With him alone..." His wife chuckled. "Oh, I didn't get to ask did 'The Mosby' trick work?"

"No... Barney backed out and then thought it was a challenge when I told him the truth."

"They're starting to bug me."

"Me too Marshmallow."


	69. Duh

Duh

A/N: *points to chapter number*

* * *

How long he had waited and yearned to once again hold her in his arms. To be close enough to feel the heat of her cheek on his, to hear her breath and be freely uninhibited to have her fill his entire world.

What then would posses him to stand outside the apartment door as if frozen in time?

-

Robin ignored the lack of care and interest which was shown when she explained that she would not be in for work tomorrow. She really wasn't sure what she was doing... And she really didn't know... but... she really wanted to see Barney...


	70. To UnTed

To UnTed

A/N: Heads up: I refuse to change the rating for this fic. I'm sure someone can supply your dirty – wait why isn't there more smut on this?

* * *

He gulped 'til his mouth was sucked dry and could not believe the sweat in his palms.

_Just open the door._ He told himself.

It could be that easy. Couldn't it?

Sure the whole friends-with-benefits was already proven – as unfortunate as it may be – to be a flawed system, but that's not what this was. Was it? They were friends. There – he hoped – would be benefits. But... It was different. He wasn't like Ted.

He wasn't like Ted.

He didn't want her to be his last resort when his love life was empty – _please_. He was he! He could have anyone.

But he didn't want them.


	71. The FLaw

The F-Law

* * *

She passed her floor nervously, waiting.

What was she doing? She and Barney were friends, dating friends never works out – it just doesn't! It's like a law – it should be above the Platinum one.

The Friend Law: If you date a friend, things will go bad and you WILL lose that friendship.

She and Ted never really recovered... it's still...

Why did she kiss him?

Barney's not... He can't be with her. It just... It wouldn't... it shouldn't... it... it...

She had to tell him.

No she should... no...

_God this was confusing._

_Okay basics... basics... Barney... he's... _

She smiled.

_But... uhhm...._


	72. Shadows of Before

Shadows of Before

* * *

He took a deep breath. He'd been waiting for, right? He...

He's been in love with her.

The thought of that word still sent part of him cowering in the trenches of his mind. To love her... He loved Robin Scherbatsky.

He sighed, bowing his head, and shut his eyes, trying to focus on what would soon happen and on what he should do.

Maybe they could start dat-

The door opened and both sides were shocked to see the other. Robin and he stared at each other for a moment, calming themselves from the initial shock.

"Hi," Barney hushed finally.


	73. FLaw Amendment

F-Law Amendment

* * *

"Hi..." Robin quietly replied. He was here... She was going to go down and tell him that they should forget about it, that it wouldn't work, that she had a new law for his bro-code – but he was here.

And she couldn't remember why she had wanted to tell him such things.

"Hi," he repeated, then seeming to gather some muse said, "Listen Robin, I know the whole... friend's thing... You were probably right."

She felt that fluffy warm feeling inside crumble away, like a used piece of paper to be used for shooting practice. She nodded absently.

"Friends uh..." he trailed off and looked away for a moment. "Friends would do it for the wrong reason."


	74. Reason Beat Love Up behind the bar

Reason Beat Love Up behind the bar

* * *

She frowned.

"Friends don't date," he continued, his tone was sincerely bashful, carefully treading over his vocabulary, "because... They think that just because they're good friends that they'll be good – good lovers."

"Being friends and being... a..." he looked straight into her eyes and Robin swore that she really could read his thoughts. "It's different."

She nodded, taken into him entirely.

"But we're not friends." He took an instinctive step forward, pausing as they were mere inches away. "We're different."

"Barney?" His hands wrapped her waist, as her arms hands gently held his tie. "I think I love you."


	75. Happy thoughts

Happy thoughts

A/N: oh good golly I fail at updates.

* * *

He hadn't put an alarm on for the next day – what for? – so he was pleasantly awakened by the sounds of the city (birds chirping muzzled by combustion engines). Stretching out in bed, he couldn't help but smile at the revelations from last night.

It made sense, it all made perfect sense. It might not have been what he had originally hoped for when he started on this wild path that is life, but as the saying goes "Sometimes what you need isn't what you want", and the more he thought about it the more he wanted it.


	76. FYInterest

FYInterest

* * *

"Morning Ted," Robin greeted on her way from the kitchen to the couch, a bowl of cereal in hand.

"Good morning Robin!" Ted cheerfully replied. "Hey aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Got the day off," she quickly replied between bites.

"Oh… right, I forgot, what time is?"

"Nearly noon," she said as she continued to eat, staring blankly at the television.

"Wow… High noon… and I'm not late for work! Sweet. I think I'm gonna hop in the shower, do you have to go?" Ted said, while opening the bathroom door.

The next 20 minutes were spent wrestling a hungry goat back into the bathroom.


	77. Man that scare at Goats

Man that scare at Goats

* * *

"Hello?"

"Oh thank God you answered your phone."

"Ted?"

"Lily you have to get over here, immediately. The goat… is awake."

"What?"

"The goat is awake."

"And that means…?"

"The goat in our bathroom woke up!"

"Oh, you mean Missy."

"You have get it out of here."

"Ted I'm at work, I can't right now."

"Lily, you don't understand. THIS GOAT IS EVIL!" He hushed into the receiver, not wanted the goat to hear him.

"Ted, she is not evil, she's scared and –"

"And hungry. All our towels are gone; you're paying for those."

"I'm sorry Ted, – Nelson put down the scissors! – I'll talk to you later, bye."


	78. Not to be Discussed

Not to be Discussed

* * *

"Marshall!"

"Ted?"

"Are you busy right now?"

"Of course I'm busy, busy, busy, busy body… Why, what's up?"

"The goat is awake."

"…"

"Marshall?"

"You mean Missy?"

"Yes."

"Ted, I don't… I mean after what happened last night, I don't really want to have to… interact with her… it's just too awkward."

"I understand. But let's remember I'm the one she's trying to kill."

"I know… I know man. It'll be okay, I promise. Are you still in the house?"

"Of course not. I'm safe and sound at McLarens, where my only worry is alcohol poisoning and that weird bartender."


	79. Morning After

Morning After

* * *

Robin put her dishes away and cleaned up the spilled milk. When she was done, she walked back into her bedroom, quietly opening and closing the door behind her. He was still asleep.

How could he sleep through all that noise?

But there he lay, gently cuddling her pillow, eyes peacefully closed…

Robin let out a sigh, what was she thinking? What were they going to do? Last time this happened…

Her thoughts were anti-climactically cut short by the sound of a phone ringing.

*ringringringring*

And a muffled "ahmatbatmrugh-gnnea…" was heard from Barney's direction as he tossed, trying to dream away the annoying ringing.


	80. Bezaire

Bezaire

* * *

"Damn it Barney." Ted said before closing his phone. He grabbed a few barnuts from the counter – Missy did, after all, make him miss breakfast. "What do you guys sell for breakfast?"

"Oh I don't know," the new bartender replied, "I'm just some weirdo bartender, I don't even know what this", he made a face and used air quotes, "breakfast is." He turned gave Ted one final glare before turning to wipe the counter.

Greatly taken back by this remark, Ted could only look sadly down to his nuts and wonder what kind of strange bar opens its doors so early.


	81. Phnoring

Phnoring

* * *

Barney was awake. His stupid phone was to blame; but he much preferred pretending to still be asleep – enjoying Robin's soft covers and restful pillows, all smelling wonderfully like her – to getting up and dealing with the aftermath of last night.

He rather not think about it. At all. Considering what happened last time. Considering what could happen. Time better spent dreaming.

He heard the door open and could feel someone watching him, the smell of fresh coffee drifting across the room. As much as he dreaded Ted discovering him sleeping, he really hoped that Robin wasn't glaring at him.


	82. Uh and At them

Uh and At them

* * *

Robin couldn't help but stare. Barney still seemed asleep; comfortable in her bed.

"Barney?"

As if it were where he belonged.

"Barney, you up?"

"Hmmm?" He finally answered before stretching his legs and propping himself up on his elbows. "Hey Robin," he smiled. "How did you sleep?"

She couldn't smile back, but couldn't look away from his.

The silence penetrated, stalling their reactions, forcing them to recognize motives, giving way to tension. Eventually Barney's smile vanished.

"We need to... We should probably..."

"Get breakfast?" Barney said jumping out of bed, suddenly wide awake.

"Uh."

"Great idea!"

"...okay."


	83. Quirk

Quirk

A/N: Credit MSmanuscript for the letter prompt – though it got rewritten completely anew – it was quite helpful.

* * *

Barney got dress while Robin put her coffee cup in the sink. Her breakfast had been overturned by a goat, so she was hungry. Barney was standing in the living room, arranging his tie, on her return.

They found a cab and Barney addressed it to a restaurant they liked. He gave her a childish grin, free of any trouble, and she couldn't help but smile back, uncrossing her nervous arms.

"Barney we should... we should probably talk."

His smiled vanished and she nearly regretted speaking as he looked away.

"Do we have to?"

Their eyes locked. Robin sat back, waiting.


	84. Relish

Relish

* * *

"Can you pass the mustard please?"

"Mmh huh," she muttered through her first bite.

"Thank you."

"Eww..."

"What?"

"Mustard with eggs?"

"Excuse you!" he shot her a look "With_ scrambled_ eggs."

"That's eggs."

"Exactly."

"Nice," she acknowledged smiling.

"Thank you," he said whilst forking his meal.

"Ketchup's way better."

"Nah uh."

"Yeah huh."

"You just think that 'cause you haven't tried this awesome-sauce," he challenged, holding up his bottle.

"And I don't plan on it."

"You'd like it."

"As long as I got this stuff," she pointed to her own red bottle, "there's no way."

"Note to self, bribe waiter to break ketchup bottle."


	85. When no one came

When no one came

A/N: Bonus for anyone who still reads this and doesn't want to kill me for such a ... delay. This BTW is set between S4 and S5.

A/N: (and it begins...) prompt request from Donteatacowman who said "I am a rock, I am an island."

* * *

"Robin?" Ted called out as he quietly opened the door. "ROBIN?"

The bathroom door was still closed.

"You can do this Ted. It's just a goat... a girl goat... an oddly... powerful... girl goat... who can eat fabric..."

Damn it where was everyone?

"Robin?..." He shut the front door behind him and, keeping his eyes on the bathroom door and his back to the wall, made his way to his bedroom. "Robin, are you there?"

He could almost hear the dramatic spy movie music, but finally he found the door handle and jumped inside.

And there he was. Alone at last.


	86. The Call

The Call

* * *

His room was quiet. He couldn't remember when he last heard this strange soundlessness – after all he lived in New York. But it was more than that.

Knowing his empty schedule, he decided to get his one hideous task out of the way.

Ted pulled out his cell phone, browsed his contacts and tried to relax upon it's sight.

_Tony._

_What a jerk._

_He comes strolling into my life because **he felt bad**, and now I'm gonna be reduced to... _

Ted sighed.

He tried to push away that sinking feeling. Letting all his past inspirations, all that he worked for, pushing away everything he's ever wanted.

They didn't want him.


	87. No man is an Island

No man is an Island

* * *

"Yellow!"

"Hey Tony, it's Ted."

"Ted! Hey buddy how ya been?"

"I'm... I'm great, thanks. Yourself?"

"That's great. Yeah, Stella and me are just packing."

"Packing?"

"Yeah." There was a lull, where Ted awaited explanation. "Oh you didn't hear? Yeah we're moving to California. Cali-foooooornnnee-aah!" He sang. "It's gonna be epic."

"Oh congratulations."

"Thanks. Oh Stella says hi."

"Tell I say hi back, uh.. listen Tony this is gonna sound strange but uh... Well you know that uh.. teaching job?"

"The teach.. oh right! The teaching job! You interested then?..." His voice full of anxious hope.

"I guess so."


	88. Rocking the Island

Rocking the Island

A/N: I really like this prompt (by Donteatacowman) BTW

* * *

Ted sat back.

"Well... there it goes."

He tossed his phone away, just as he had his dream.

"Now what..."

He looked out the window, New York, cars passing, people running around.

_It won't be that bad._

It's such a big world. Such a big busy world.

Everyone taking care of themselves. Everybody rushing around. So what if a single person is hurt. So what if a single dream is crushed.

_After all, No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you..._


End file.
